Why I Need to Trust God When I Suffer

Lights of Hope Faith, Featured 17 Comments

As a small child, I was terrified of storms because I thought each one carried a tornado in it. When the storm warnings would come on the T.V., the atmosphere around me was one of fear and anxiousness, so by default, I picked up that energy. I would suffer through intense fear because no one reassured me it would be ok. What I’ve realized is that each storm prepared me for the next one. Through the experience, I was no longer fearful and …

3 Ways to Shine a Light into the Darkness

Lights of Hope Faith, Featured 3 Comments

The fear comes at night when the lights turn out. I can feel the darkness as a tangible sadness. It feels real, the darkness of depression. Sometimes it feels like a weight on my chest. Other times it feels like a heavy fog, clouding my thoughts. Most of the time I can’t breathe. Under the covers, I can feel my legs but can’t move them. The physical darkness of my bedroom suffocates me and I feel the air trapped in my …

God’s Perfect Plan

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I sat with tears streaming down my cheeks and buried my head in my hands. “God, I can’t do this anymore!” I cried. I had prayed, begged and pleaded with God to give my husband and I more children, and he answered that prayer by allowing us to adopt through the local foster care system. Several years later, I could no longer find the joy and gratitude that had overwhelmed my heart at our son’s adoption. It was lost in …

Codependency and Christ: A Reflection on a Reflection 

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In the cold, gray quiet of a January morning in 2015, I was sitting on my couch … weeping. I held a paperback book in one hand and wadded up corner of a blanket in my other that I was using to muffle my sobs so I didn’t wake anyone. It was a messy cry that left my face hot with an indistinguishable mix of substances from eyes, nose, and mouth. The reality had sunk in: I was codependent. Surprisingly, …

From Broken to Blessed

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I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease at age 16, and struggled with my disease off and on for years. Things took a turn for the worse in February of 2016. My Crohn’s Disease symptoms worsened, and a large majority of my days were spent hospitalized or sick in bed.   A few months later in May, I met my colorectal surgeon. I will never, as long as I live forget the day I heard the words, “Amber I am going …